This workplace blogger has been "out of the office," mentally-speaking, since last week as well, and I don't have any plans to return to the "office" until next week, just like your largely-absent co-workers.
So what is the bare, blogging minimum that I can do today? Well, I can simply re-work my workplace resolutions post from last December! It's still highly relevant, because we're still human. After all, how many of us make the same workplace resolution every single year, only to lose our workflow management mojo by the middle of January? Workplace resolutions are easy to make, but hard to keep.
I don't want to keep you waiting, by the way; you have pre-new year's procrastinating to do! Without further delay, here are 10 common workplace resolutions, and why we'll probably break them by the end of next week as we return to the daily grind:
1. I'm going to work smarter, not harder! In the new year, you're finally going to harness the power of mobile technologies to realize your full potential. You're going to be more efficient, more productive and...why does your tablet keep crashing, and why does your newish co-worker keep asking questions he should know the answers to by now? And as much time as you're spending on social media, why doesn't it seem to be doing anything for you, career-wise? Bummer.
2. I'm going to be more of a team player! You know your workplace personality could use an extreme makeover, and now is the time. Everything is on track until your co-worker gets a promotion and raise based largely on the work you did last year. Suddenly, you decide you're more inclined to solo sports than team sports.
3. I'm going to get along with my annoying co-worker! Your new year's resolution is to make peace with That Co-worker. Yes, you two haven't gotten along with since Day One and you're off to a great start in early January -- until this backstabbing co-worker spreads a nasty rumor that gets someone fired by February 1. So much for peace, love and understanding, right?
4. I'm going to get a new job! You've been toiling away unappreciated for years, you've survived three rounds of layoffs, and 2015 is the year, isn't it? You're due for a change, and you're motivated until the January jobs report comes out and it looks curiously like...2014?*** But don't let that stop you, even though you might feel like stopping. We're all rooting for you. Good luck!
5. I'm going to be happier at work! It's been said that smiling more will improve your mood, and let's face it: you've been sort of a sourpuss lately, haven't you? It's been best to keep your defenses up on the job, but perhaps it's time to play a little offense for a change? Smile! Don't take offense as the customer yells at you, or tries to do your job for you. (Note: Please see New Year's Resolution #4.)
6. I'm going to pay attention to people! You realize you've been sort of a jerk with technology use, tuning everyone out as you surf your smartphone for hours on end at home and at work. Not anymore! You're going to be present in your own life, living in the moment and making eye contact as you listen to your co-worker blather on about her weekend. Would she get to the point already? You're about to drift off into your phone to check your messages!
7. I'm going to get to work on time! You run five to 10 minutes late everywhere you go. Well, you're going to get there on time from now on! Too bad the traffic still makes you late, your preschooler won't put on his shoes just like last year, and the line at Starbucks is flowing out the door again. You still have to gas up on your way to work too, because no one filled the tank. Your co-worker is going to be silently angry, just like she was last year. Can we just say that it's the thought that counts?
8. I'm not going to doze off at work anymore! Hey, the lights were dim, your manager has a soothing, monotone voice, and the bagel with cream cheese reached your stomach by Slide #5. Can your co-workers blame you for dozing off during your co-worker's boring PowerPoint presentation? Yes, they can, and they do! Now you're making the conscious decision to stay awake all through 2015 so your co-workers won't have to fill in the blanks for you again. Caffeine helps to promote personal promises, and remember to...zzzzzzz.
9. I'm finally going to finish that project! The leaning stack of paperwork sitting on your filing cabinet since September? Gone. Everything that's been on the back burner since last summer? Done. Meeting July goals by April? It's on like Donkey Kong. Then your co-worker walks by and drops a second stack of paperwork on your desk, you can't get to everything on the back burner because you're too busy fighting fires that pop up. Before you know it, you're back to meeting February goals by March, just like last year. Nice try, pal. Nice. Try.
10. I'm going to have better work-life balance! After dashing to and fro all year long and taking work calls on private time, you've decided that enough is enough. Something's gotta give, and you're going to give your all to achieving a better work-life balance. Then you remember the Great Recession, run into a laid-off co-worker who's still looking for a job, watch the part of Jerry McGuire where he gets fired in a restaurant while staring into a glass of water, and then you take those work-related calls at the dinner table, anyway. Work-life balance might have to wait until 2016.
In all seriousness, it can be easy to let our new year's resolutions slide. Just ask the successful owner of a curiously-empty fitness gym. We're all in this boat together, because we're human. But for now, we can dream BIG as we wipe the slate clean! We can allow our minds to wander the wondrous workplace landscape in our quest to create a brighter tomorrow. We are the working world.
Besides, your co-workers are out of the office "running errands," you're caught up on your own work, and there's nothing else to do today except surf your smartphone for New Year's Eve events and silly, recycled workplace blog posts. Feel free to practice New Year's Resolution #8 while you're busy reading. Throw in New Year's Resolution #5 while you're at it. Happy New Year!
*** Fingers crossed the recent uptick in hiring isn't simply seasonal hiring. We're long overdue for partying like it's 1999, only with better business models.
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