No Shoes, No Shirt, No Self-Control, No Service

You're helping an angry customer who suddenly makes fun of your physical appearance, or perceived lack of education. Well, they say the customer is always right. Riiiight.

I've been following the Britt McHenry story, which raises the question: What can employees do when a customer's complaint turns into a personal attack?

Unfortunately, it happens -- and probably more often than we would like to admit. Here in the elitist 21st Century, it can take a backbone of steel to get through daily interactions with some customers who go off script to comment on an employee's weight, nails, assumed socioeconomic status, lack of career ambition, and so on.

Ugh. It's one thing to rant condescendingly on Twitter or Facebook, where such comments are often "liked," re-tweeted and celebrated; it's quite another thing to make such cutting comments in-person, where the optics most likely will not work out in our favor.

Most of us will take a job serving the public at some point in our lives, and we all have a story to tell about That Customer who took out his or her frustrations on us while all we could do was stand there, take it, and practice copious amounts of self-control. We may no longer remember everything the customer said, but we will never forget how it made us feel.

Perhaps we go on to make a career out of working with the public, but still sense a subtle, if not outright, lack of respect for what we do in a culture that pretty much worships career status.

We're also emerging from the worst recession since the 1930s. It wasn't all that long ago that millions of working professionals lost their jobs in the Great Recession. They've spent the last handful of years trying to rebuild their lives and make ends meet, perhaps by working a retail or service job in which they dealt with the public. That "uneducated" employee working at the retail store? Well, he might just have an advanced degree. (He's not going to tell you that, but I will.)

No wonder the public reaction to the McHenry video hasn't been very pretty. The clip resonates, it reverberates in our heads, and it really touches a nerve in many people who might not remember everything the customer said, but they will never forget how it made them feel.

The best thing you can do as the employee on the receiving end of a customer's personal swipe is to tell yourself: This customer knows absolutely nothing about me, or my life. The assumptions this customer has made about me say more about him or her than they say about me. I'm just trying to do my job, and I'm going to maintain my self-control and composure, no matter what. I'm going to stay calm, get through this moment, and when it's all over, I'm never going to forget that I'm a good, hard-working person.

Research has concluded that many customer-facing employees can feel stuck in the middle between angry customers who say whatever they're thinking and disinterested managers who don't want to hear about it. Forward-thinking, 21st Century companies can make a statement by letting customers know that verbal abuse of employees is not acceptable.

Sure, we understand that you're upset about something pertaining to our product or service, Mr. or Ms. Customer, but you can't take personal swipes at our employees, demean them, swear at them, or otherwise be lewd, crude, and/or extremely rude. We are a professional business -- even if you may not personally think so -- and we expect interactions with our staff to remain civil at all times. Thank you.

No, really. Perhaps it's time to update store signage to read:

No shoes, no shirt, no self-control, no service.

No, the customer isn't always right. Stand up for your staff, management. You'll earn employees' trust and respect because they'll know that you have their back in these stressful situations. Everyone in the front office will thank you, too.

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