Congratulations, you've just been had by something called "The Aspirational R.S.V.P"!
As the old saying goes, nobody on the Internet knows you're a dog. Likewise, nobody on the Internet who reads the enthusiastic responses to your Facebook event invite knows that most of them won't actually show up.
A writer for The New York Times refers to this "trend" as "The Aspirational R.S.V.P." Meaning, we indicate publicly on social media that we're "so there" but when the time comes we're nowhere to be found. At least, not anywhere in the vicinity of where the event is taking place.
It's the intersection between our very public intentions (sign me up!) and our very private desires (count me out!) in the social media age. It's showing off without showing up.
The Aspirational R.S.V.P. is everywhere these days, from birthday parties and wedding showers to wedding invitations, baby showers and online sign-up sheets. If you've ever tried gathering R.S.V.P's for a kid's birthday party, then you know exactly what I mean.
But what about the Aspirational R.S.V.P. placed in a business context? What happens when we want to advertise next week's after-hours business social, open house, sale, or fund-raising exhibition at the local art gallery on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or some other social media platform?
Well, we may find that many of our business-colleagues-turned-"friends" who said "sign me up!" are curiously absent when it's time for us to host that after-hours business social, open the open house, roam the sales floor, or stand in front of our master work at the local art gallery.
These days, anyone who hosts anything is like Pam in that episode from The Office where's she's exhibiting her artwork and nobody from work shows up -- except for her boss, Michael Scott, who is both enthusiastic and encouraging. She's overcome with emotion because A WORK COLLEAGUE ACTUALLY SHOWED UP FOR HER. These are the moments that everyone remembers. So let's start showing up for our "friends."
For those who are fond of writing Aspirational R.S.V.P's, however, saying "yes" when they really mean "er, no" is all in a day's work, apparently:
Let’s call it the aspirational R.S.V.P. — when someone replies yes to an invitation, even though he knows, or is fairly certain, that he can’t or won’t attend.I mean, this is just so sad. It really, really is. My heart breaks for Daisy Rockwell, and anyone else who has been in her shoes."Aspirational R.S.V.P.s have become rampant, thanks to Facebook," said the painter and translator Daisy Rockwell. "Very often when I post an event there, people will choose 'Join' simply as a show of solidarity. If you ask them if they really plan to come to your Massachusetts event all the way from California, they are affronted, as though you are criticizing their noble sentiment."
Bottom line: When we post a business-related invite to social media, we can now plan on up to three-fourths (yes, three-fourths!) of those who clicked "yes" not to show up. Unless there's free food, I guess.
Hmm. If we're not serious about actually showing up to a business event or anything else, then let's stop saying that we will be there, unless we really are sick or in crisis. Then we offer our apologies with as much advance notice as possible. Simples.
Yes, I know it makes us look good (read: busy, in demand, vibrant, and popular) on Facebook to give a business invite a thumb's up, but in reality it's a middle finger to the event host if we never planned on making an appearance in the first place. Let's call that the Ass-pirational R.S.V.P.
This is dummy text. It is not meant to be read. Accordingly, it is difficult to figure out when to end it. But then, this is dummy text. It is not meant to be read. Period.
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