March Madness is one of my favorite times of the year. The brackets! The last-minute, game-winning threes at the buzzer! The heartbreak! The thrill of completely unexpected, 16th-seed victory! The NCAA Tournament is always fun to watch, and many employees will be keeping an eye on the games while they work.
A new OfficeTeam survey reveals that half (50%) of senior managers think the sheer fun of the college basketball playoffs boosts employee morale, and more than one-third (36%) think that March Madness is good for employee productivity.
In fact, March Madness is a slam dunk, no pun intended: The percentage of managers who see March Madness as a net positive has increased 20% since 2013, according to OfficeTeam's survey.
Not only will employees be watching the NCAA Tournament, they might be listening to some co-workers humblebrag about where they went to college. When you think about it, March Madness is the annual event most likely to place our academic history on the foul line. Will we shoot and score by touting a diploma from an elite university, or bank it off the rim by bragging how our state school alma mater is a top seed in the tournament this year? Take it away, Bluto!
Mentioning Bluto feels like a quasi-requirement here, since I'm a proud state school grad (University of Oregon for grad school). Animal House was filmed on the University of Oregon campus. Go, Ducks!
But enough about me; you'll need to figure out how to respond to the recently-hired co-worker who suddenly blurts out: "Oh, you graduated from [insert name of state school]? That's...interesting. I went to [insert name of top-tier, well-known, expensive, U.S. News & World Report-revered elite university]."**
Perhaps this co-worker goes on to say how he or she "thought about applying" to your alma mater as a safety school but decided against it, and offers a detailed explanation as to why.
Whoomp, there it is.
How should you respond to the co-worker who uses tournament time (or any other time, for that matter) to humblebrag about his or her academic background? Here are five quick tips for playing some mid-court defense of your own on the job:
1. Simply say "that's nice." Simply saying "that's nice" in response to someone's humblebrag is always a good, non-confrontational response that doesn't require you to take a clear position on the matter. Then you can change the subject.
2. Mention student loans. You might say how you're so glad your student loans are all paid off (if you had to take out any at all). It could leave your elite co-worker yearning to change the subject.
3. Meet academic one-upping with humor. "Oh, you went to [insert name of elite university]? I'll make sure to speak more slowly from now on, then." Zing. Wow, you sure have a quick sense of humor for a state school grad!
4. Feign ignorance. You might ask this co-worker when his or her team is playing in the tournament, and what seed the team is this year. If this co-worker responds that his or her school is "much more about academics than sports" and that's why the school is rarely, if ever, in the tournament, then simply chuckle, shake your head, and continue filling out your bracket.
5. Don't hide your team spirit. This is the time of year to let your car flag fly! Wear your state school sweatshirt and baseball cap, and do it proudly! After all, you can afford to shell out $79.99 for the cool baseball cap with the school logo on it since you don't have any onerous student loans hanging over your head.
These tips are all written in jest, of course, and I wouldn't encourage you to use them (except for Tip #1, which comes in awfully handy, and Tip #5, because it's fun). I'm simply trying to think of a March Madness theme I haven't explored yet. It's getting harder to do, since I write a March Madness post every year. I hope your workmates are decidedly chill regarding matters of academic achievement come tournament time, or any other time of the year. Most of all, keep any academic one-upping all in good fun, and make sure to enjoy the tournament with your co-workers!
** Perhaps, however, your co-worker simply says that she went to "a college in Cambridge, Massachusetts" or "a university in Palo Alto, California," which is a faux-modest way of saying the same thing.
***If this co-worker graduated from Duke University, which is both private AND a basketball powerhouse, feel free to do variation on all five tips at once.
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