Business and technology journalists are clocking a lot of time this week writing about the Apple Watch in anticipation of its April launch. From how it could send the Swiss watch industry into an "ice age" to its price tag ($10,000 at the high end) to its workplace-applicable apps, journalists are on Apple Watch story watch.
Meanwhile, the rest of us are sitting around thinking:
Wow, people still wear watches? I haven't worn one in years! I just check the time on my smartphone these days.
Let's think different, however, by anticipating the real-workplace ramifications of the Apple Watch!
Instead of staring at a smartphone, our co-workers will be staring at their wrists and sending up-to-the-minute heartbeats to other people for some reason. I suppose this is progress?
But I'm not a technology writer, I'm a workplace blogger. I write about the employee psychology that accompanies workplace technology use. Particularly, how employees can misuse technology to create all kinds of awkward situations and hard feelings around the office. It's much more fun to me than blogging about download speed.
Bottom line: You'll need to prepare NOW for the co-worker who walks into work next month sporting an Apple Watch.
This co-worker will tell everyone all about his buying experience. Then he'll start showing everyone his new watch, and everyone will crowd around initially to see his new status symbol just like they did when he showed up with the new iPad and the new iPhone 5. He'll spend the rest of the day poking at his wrist, personalizing his new timepiece, and telling you the latest thing he's discovered that it can do.
Midway through the day, he'll turn to you and say: "Hey, try sending me something. I want to see if it goes to my watch!" You send a short email just to be nice, and he immediately sends back a response. It works! Then you notice that the bottom of the message includes the tag line "Message sent from an Apple Watch." Enough already. Could somebody please make it stop?
Perhaps watching this play out at work all day won't bother you, though. Your co-worker is happy, and you're happy for him. To each his own, and if your co-worker wants to drop big bucks on the first-generation edition of a new gadget hitting the market, then that's his right and privilege. The rest of us will wait for the third generation when the price drops significantly, or we'll choose from the future line of cheaper knock-off products. Cough.
Perhaps watching this play out at work will bother you, however, precisely because it is a boastful status symbol of sorts being flaunted in front of you. It's not as bad as the co-worker who came to work complaining that the new Lexus she got for Christmas isn't the right make or model, but still. The Apple Watch is here, it's in your face, and it's pushing your buttons with its trendiness and sleek design.
Essentially, employees who are first-in-line Apple Watch adopters should avoid creating a workplace scene AND GET THEIR DAMN WORK DONE. That's all the rest of us ask, really.
If you buy an Apple Watch, then don't waste valuable work time sharing your purchasing story in detail (where you bought it, how long you stood in line, your pre-ordering saga, any programming hiccups, etc.). Don't tell your co-workers how much you paid for it. Don't sit around playing with your new watch all day at work. Don't go on and on about what it can, and cannot, do. Don't whine about what you wish it could do. Don't ask your co-workers to send emails to your watch. Don't send them your heartbeat and other stuff to show off. Don't make exaggerated arm movements in status update meetings so somebody will ask: "Oh, is that a new watch?" Oh, no. Here we go again!
In sum, watch what you say, and watch what you do. Be kind, don't wind. Ultimately, don't distract your co-workers who are there to work and haven't worn a watch in 15 years. Thank you.
And if you get a watch, lucky you. No, really! Congratulations, it sounds awesome. Maybe the rest of us are a little bit jealous. Just don't be a dork about it at work, and it's all good.
Now the workplace can go on Apple Watch watch and wait for articles about how this new gadget is impacting employee productivity. The time is almost here.
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